weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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