A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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