Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
