Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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