And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
