Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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