Are we in a gay sports bar?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
