i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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