you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
