she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
