she was so not down for the gang bang
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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