Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
