On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
