My liver just broke up with me...
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i think i just lost a toe
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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