A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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