K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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