I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
