just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
