Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
