It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
