I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
