Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Boobs speak an international language.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
3 2 1 whiskey
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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