D3 body, D1 cock
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
that is very illegal...i love you.
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