You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
