her vagine was all disorganized.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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