At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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