dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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