i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
