is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
