I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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