grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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