there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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