It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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