why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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