hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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