I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
