...so i touched it.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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