You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
