Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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