whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
