Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
