No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
