I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
