You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
