i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
