meet me or not, i'm out of control
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
