he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
