I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
