u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
