I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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