The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
