If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
