It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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