Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
